Hi Emily! I love your idea for your Storybook; I have a mega soft spot in my heart for pups. And yours looks so sweet, one of my best friends has a golden-doodle. They are so CUTE! I love all the pictures in the introduction post, that adds a great touch. I'm really excited to see your sweet pup placed into some of the Aesop's Fables! That's a really smart way to make these little stories more realistic and personal. One thing I would recommend is to maybe find a Google Sites theme that fits YOUR theme! I know I picked a generic one to begin with, with just a color scheme, but after looking a little I found some really really cute ones! (There might even be one with dogs? Who knows!) Because it's your Introduction, I don't have too many other critiques! I'm just excited to read more about your pup! :)
I really like your storybook idea Emily! I always wonder what goes on in my animals’ heads and I’m sure a lot of other people do too. I like that you will be putting them into a diary format. I think that will be an easy way to read what is going on and it will also be really fun. I also like that your stories will be inspired by Aesop’s fables. I always enjoy reading Aesop fables and I’m excited to see your take on them. I liked the way you set up your first story. It was easy to follow with the main story and then Cedie’s commentary added next to it. I also liked that you placed them side by side so that it was easy to see which parts of the story coincided with specific parts of her commentary. I liked that you took the main message of the fable and added a new spin to it. Overall it was really fun to read and there wasn’t anything that I saw that need to be fixed!
Emily, your storybook caught my eye above all of the others! I like how you used the word "ruff" in the title and by making it in the point of view of a dog. I think it is important to introduce the main character before just jumping into dialogue so I like that you accomplished that. I also like the fact that you included personal pictures of the dog that your story is based off of. It is hard to put a face to a name until you see an actual picture so now I feel like I am really there experiencing the story with Mercedes. It is hard to put a story in the perspective of an animal, but you did it well. I also think that the fact that Mercedes is a real dog gives an emotional attachment to the story. What if you put more of the story in first person point of view with Mercedes as the narrator? It would be compelling and interesting to listen to since we as people don't know what is going through the minds of dogs. I also think that addressing the point of the project is unnecessary because it takes away from the story effect of your blog post. In conclusion, I think the idea of your storybook is interesting and unique!
Hi Emily! Such a cute idea for a storybook! I love it. The introduction is in great shape by now, and I don't see any changes you need to make! One thing I would recommend, if I had to choose, would be to tell the whole introduction from Mercedes' perspective instead of just telling us what it will be about. Even though that would be a lot to change, it would be a cool style! I was not expecting the story to be how it was, but it's actually very creative! Having the story on one side and her point of view on the other is very cool. I can get a little bit repetitive, though. I wonder if it might be cool if it is all just from the dog's perspective? Again, that's really the only recommendation I have! I really like the story and I can't wait to see your next one!
Hey Emily, I think your storybook idea is great. In your introduction, you did a great job at introducing who Mercedes is. I like how you added all those details about Mercedes because it gives me an idea of what kind of dog she is. It seems like I know her and I haven’t even met her in real life. I really liked how you also added a commentary. I wonder what it would be like if you just had the commentary and not the story; since this is more of a diary. I think it would be fun to read. Another thing I liked was how you put the story and the commentary right next each other. I think that is a great layout and it’s a good way to read the story in different perspectives. Overall, I think you did a great job. It’s always great to see what is going on in a dog’s mind. I can’t wait to read more of your stories!
The first person perspective works well for your storybook, and I enjoyed hearing Cedie’s thoughts on various things. You did a great job in writing a typical dog that gets distracted easily! I especially liked how you repeated that she likes chasing “squirrels, cats, and birds” a couple of times to show this. Cedie seems to have a great personality!
I do think that you might try and move some things around in your intro though. Instead of having Cedie’s point of view in the middle I feel like it would flow better if it was at the end. Maybe you could put the “more info about Cedie” section before you write about her perspective?
Your first story is also really nice! I think that the “I told him that I would love…” sentence in the third paragraph is a run on though!
Hi Emily! So not going to lie, I saw the words Golden Doodle and immediately clicked on your storybook. My sister has a Golden Doodle named Indiana Jones and I love him! Honestly they are like a real life teddy bear. I am so jealous of your theme, it is so creative and you are doing an amazing job. Having the stories from Cedie’s point of view makes it so fun to read. I love that she is obsessed with tennis balls and thinks the wolf is her cousin! Your dialogue is spot on and makes for a super interesting read. I was entertained the whole time! Having the story compared to Cedie’s commentary was hilarious, too. I am really excited to see what other stories you write from her perspective! I also want to go out and get a golden doodle after this… Definitely keep up the amazing work!
Emily, I had the opportunity to meet my first Labradoodle this summer and immediately fell in love with that huge curly-haired dog. I can only imagine how much fun you've had raising one. It's great being able to get inside Cedie's head for the stories. You really know your dog, and it definitely seems like we can tell exactly what our dogs are thinking sometimes.
The idea of a wild animal and a domesticated animal not being able to understand the other is very interesting. Seeing it from Cedie's point of view we know she is very well taken care of and has everything she could ever want. However, the wolf sees it differently, and could not ever put itself in her paws because all it knows is being wild. I feel like that is a very relatable talking point among humans as well. We fail to understand others because we've likely never gotten a chance to experience the things they have. Great work on Cedie's character. I'm sure these stories almost write themselves since you have Cedie to work off of.
Emily, your storybook introduction was so great and entertaining. I am obsessed with dogs so any kind of dog interaction I can get, even if it is online, is great. I am so jealous you have your dog with you here at school…my dad wouldn’t ever let me take my dogs away for more than a day. I like that you chose to take real life pets and people to incorporate into your stories. This makes it so much more relatable and realistic, not to mention more fun for you to write. I also like that you included so many facts about Cedie; this will make it easier to understand certain aspects of your stories. Also, Cedie is absolutely adorable and I don’t blame her for wanting to chase cats and squirrels. I think you have a great idea going for your stories and I can’t wait to see where all Cedie can take you in your storybook.
Hey Emily! This was really cute to use your storybook as an outlet to give a voice to Mercedes! She is so precious by the way! I love how you took this assignment and made it have a personal connection to your life. I bet that makes writing the stories a lot easier. At first, when I was reading your introduction, I was concerned that you would have a difficult time trying to find ways to talk about your dog's life and include stories from assignments we read. I'm happy to saw after reading your first story "The Dog That Learned to Share" I was majority wrong! You did a fantastic job. I loved that you did a side-by-side layout (how did you do that by the way?!) of one side telling the story and the other side being commentary straight from Cedie! it was a creative and ingenious structure that made the story engaging and really fun to read!
Hi Emily! I’ve said this before but you do a great job in writing Cedie’s actions and thoughts in a believable way! You can definitely tell she’s a dog. It was also great how you were able to make “Ollie the Cat” based on real-life events. In the beginning I wondered why Ollie was ignoring Cedie, but once I read his point of view I understood. I liked how you decided to show Cedie and Ollie’s perspectives because they are very different. It’s a nice contrast.
I did notice that there were a few sentences in this story that might be run-ons. In the “Immediately I wanted to be his friend…” sentence you might want to separate it into more than one sentence. Also in the sentence that starts with “Then, I didn’t see him…” maybe you could drop the first comma because it feels unneeded.
Hi Emily! I picked your story book for my third option this week because I remember reading your introduction and first story and wanted to see what was new. Me and the Wolf was a great story to retell for Cedie's perspective. I like the first person narrative and I like how you have Cedie get side tracked telling the story and then have her jump right back in. It definitely adds to the idea that a dog is telling the story. I also thought you did a good job flipping the story. I've read the original and it's cool to see it told from the house dog's perspective instead of the wolf's. To each their own right? I also thought it was nice that you included the original story in your author's note so that people could easily read where your inspiration came from. I enjoyed reading Ollie the Cat as well. I like how you took inspiration from the original story, but made it completely your own. I thought it was cute how Cedie referred to their relationship as "star-crossed friends," that made me giggle. I feel like you did a good job capturing cats and dogs relationships. It always seem the dog wants to be friends and the cat does not. It was a very cute story. Good job, can't wait to read more!
Hey Emily! The storybook is really coming along nicely. I like how you told the story about Ollie and Cedie from the first time that they met to what I assume is the "current". It was pretty cool how you decided to give us an excerpt from Ollie's journal as well. The only thing I could think to suggest for you is that you clear up the beginning of their relationship a bit. I had to read it a second time because it confused me a little. Other than that, great story!
I really found your story fantastic. The idea of writing your story this way is very original but it also makes it much more fun. I think this is the first time in the class I encounter someone who talks in the first person, I must admit that it really makes me feel that I am a character in the story. I found it very nice that you included the original story in the author’s note, it made me realize how well you changed the story in your version making us see it from the dog’s perspective. The story of Ollie the cat was so cute, I really love it since I just got a puppy and anything that involves cute animals is now a passion for me. Thank you for you sharing, I look forward to your future stories.
Hey Emily! I also am using my pet, Oliver, to be the main character in my storybook. I also decided to write in first person just so the perspective would be a bit different and so that everyone can read Oliver's personality and enjoy it as much as I do. I really like how you have built your story and how well it flows. I had a great time reading your story and getting to know Cedie's. I am excited to continue reading more of your stories!
Hi Emily! This is really cool! I am using my pet as well, and I have seen a few other people do this too! Obviously pets are a really fun thing to use in stories- I think it makes it easier to come up with stories with my cat because I already know how to fit her personality into it. I really enjoyed reading your stories and can't wait to read more about your sweet dog!
Hey Emily, I absolutely love your storybook! This is the first storybook I've read that's used an actual pet as the main character. What a fun idea! It's clear that you love Cedie a lot, and I think that makes the stories way more fun to read. It's always better to write about something you're passionate about. And she is just SO CUTE!! You did an awesome job of setting up yours and Cedie's background in your introduction. It was nice to get to know a bit about her day to day life and how long y'all have been together. I also love how you give Cedie a personality in her commentary on the stories. She seems like such a sweet pup—so open to new experiences and excited about the world. I'm really impressed with how well you nailed a dog's persona. I thought your stories were all a lot of fun and easy to read. I'm excited to see more of what you add here.
I love getting to read all of Cedie's adventures! I thought you did a great job of finding a way to adapt the fable to fit your storybook. I also really like that you added the original at the end. It makes it easier to see where your inspiration came from without having to go out of the way to find it. I thought it was super cute that she was trying to help because she wanted to share the food so badly. I can totally see this being the motivation for a dog hanging around the kitchen on any given day, especially a holiday. You do a great job of staying in character throughout the story and also giving a good perspective of a dog's thought process. You have a great starting point in your story and you end strong too with the "update." Overall I really enjoyed your latest addition and can't wait to read more!
So I read your first story earlier this semester and absolutely loved it! Your stories are so cute. I especially love the Thanksgiving one. I know my dogs are definitely thinking they are helping when they are definitely ruining things. The same goes for Christmas! When we get the decorations out, the dogs go nuts and eat half of the things. I really love your writing! Since it is from Cedie’s perspective, everything is so light hearted. You have the most creative storybook/project in our class (by far)! I love reading it. It is a nice change of pace from all of the other stories. This story added to the overall storybook so well. I can’t believe it’s over! Great job!!
Hi Emily! I love your idea for your Storybook; I have a mega soft spot in my heart for pups. And yours looks so sweet, one of my best friends has a golden-doodle. They are so CUTE! I love all the pictures in the introduction post, that adds a great touch. I'm really excited to see your sweet pup placed into some of the Aesop's Fables! That's a really smart way to make these little stories more realistic and personal. One thing I would recommend is to maybe find a Google Sites theme that fits YOUR theme! I know I picked a generic one to begin with, with just a color scheme, but after looking a little I found some really really cute ones! (There might even be one with dogs? Who knows!) Because it's your Introduction, I don't have too many other critiques! I'm just excited to read more about your pup! :)
ReplyDeleteI really like your storybook idea Emily! I always wonder what goes on in my animals’ heads and I’m sure a lot of other people do too. I like that you will be putting them into a diary format. I think that will be an easy way to read what is going on and it will also be really fun. I also like that your stories will be inspired by Aesop’s fables. I always enjoy reading Aesop fables and I’m excited to see your take on them.
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you set up your first story. It was easy to follow with the main story and then Cedie’s commentary added next to it. I also liked that you placed them side by side so that it was easy to see which parts of the story coincided with specific parts of her commentary. I liked that you took the main message of the fable and added a new spin to it. Overall it was really fun to read and there wasn’t anything that I saw that need to be fixed!
Emily, your storybook caught my eye above all of the others! I like how you used the word "ruff" in the title and by making it in the point of view of a dog. I think it is important to introduce the main character before just jumping into dialogue so I like that you accomplished that. I also like the fact that you included personal pictures of the dog that your story is based off of. It is hard to put a face to a name until you see an actual picture so now I feel like I am really there experiencing the story with Mercedes. It is hard to put a story in the perspective of an animal, but you did it well. I also think that the fact that Mercedes is a real dog gives an emotional attachment to the story. What if you put more of the story in first person point of view with Mercedes as the narrator? It would be compelling and interesting to listen to since we as people don't know what is going through the minds of dogs. I also think that addressing the point of the project is unnecessary because it takes away from the story effect of your blog post. In conclusion, I think the idea of your storybook is interesting and unique!
ReplyDeleteHi Emily!
ReplyDeleteSuch a cute idea for a storybook! I love it. The introduction is in great shape by now, and I don't see any changes you need to make! One thing I would recommend, if I had to choose, would be to tell the whole introduction from Mercedes' perspective instead of just telling us what it will be about. Even though that would be a lot to change, it would be a cool style!
I was not expecting the story to be how it was, but it's actually very creative! Having the story on one side and her point of view on the other is very cool. I can get a little bit repetitive, though. I wonder if it might be cool if it is all just from the dog's perspective? Again, that's really the only recommendation I have! I really like the story and I can't wait to see your next one!
Hey Emily,
ReplyDeleteI think your storybook idea is great. In your introduction, you did a great job at introducing who Mercedes is. I like how you added all those details about Mercedes because it gives me an idea of what kind of dog she is. It seems like I know her and I haven’t even met her in real life. I really liked how you also added a commentary. I wonder what it would be like if you just had the commentary and not the story; since this is more of a diary. I think it would be fun to read.
Another thing I liked was how you put the story and the commentary right next each other. I think that is a great layout and it’s a good way to read the story in different perspectives. Overall, I think you did a great job. It’s always great to see what is going on in a dog’s mind. I can’t wait to read more of your stories!
The first person perspective works well for your storybook, and I enjoyed hearing Cedie’s thoughts on various things. You did a great job in writing a typical dog that gets distracted easily! I especially liked how you repeated that she likes chasing “squirrels, cats, and birds” a couple of times to show this. Cedie seems to have a great personality!
ReplyDeleteI do think that you might try and move some things around in your intro though. Instead of having Cedie’s point of view in the middle I feel like it would flow better if it was at the end. Maybe you could put the “more info about Cedie” section before you write about her perspective?
Your first story is also really nice! I think that the “I told him that I would love…” sentence in the third paragraph is a run on though!
Good luck with the rest of your storybook!
Hi Emily!
ReplyDeleteSo not going to lie, I saw the words Golden Doodle and immediately clicked on your storybook. My sister has a Golden Doodle named Indiana Jones and I love him! Honestly they are like a real life teddy bear. I am so jealous of your theme, it is so creative and you are doing an amazing job. Having the stories from Cedie’s point of view makes it so fun to read. I love that she is obsessed with tennis balls and thinks the wolf is her cousin! Your dialogue is spot on and makes for a super interesting read. I was entertained the whole time! Having the story compared to Cedie’s commentary was hilarious, too. I am really excited to see what other stories you write from her perspective! I also want to go out and get a golden doodle after this… Definitely keep up the amazing work!
Emily, I had the opportunity to meet my first Labradoodle this summer and immediately fell in love with that huge curly-haired dog. I can only imagine how much fun you've had raising one. It's great being able to get inside Cedie's head for the stories. You really know your dog, and it definitely seems like we can tell exactly what our dogs are thinking sometimes.
ReplyDeleteThe idea of a wild animal and a domesticated animal not being able to understand the other is very interesting. Seeing it from Cedie's point of view we know she is very well taken care of and has everything she could ever want. However, the wolf sees it differently, and could not ever put itself in her paws because all it knows is being wild. I feel like that is a very relatable talking point among humans as well. We fail to understand others because we've likely never gotten a chance to experience the things they have. Great work on Cedie's character. I'm sure these stories almost write themselves since you have Cedie to work off of.
Emily, your storybook introduction was so great and entertaining. I am obsessed with dogs so any kind of dog interaction I can get, even if it is online, is great. I am so jealous you have your dog with you here at school…my dad wouldn’t ever let me take my dogs away for more than a day. I like that you chose to take real life pets and people to incorporate into your stories. This makes it so much more relatable and realistic, not to mention more fun for you to write. I also like that you included so many facts about Cedie; this will make it easier to understand certain aspects of your stories. Also, Cedie is absolutely adorable and I don’t blame her for wanting to chase cats and squirrels. I think you have a great idea going for your stories and I can’t wait to see where all Cedie can take you in your storybook.
ReplyDeleteHey Emily!
ReplyDeleteThis was really cute to use your storybook as an outlet to give a voice to Mercedes! She is so precious by the way! I love how you took this assignment and made it have a personal connection to your life. I bet that makes writing the stories a lot easier. At first, when I was reading your introduction, I was concerned that you would have a difficult time trying to find ways to talk about your dog's life and include stories from assignments we read. I'm happy to saw after reading your first story "The Dog That Learned to Share" I was majority wrong! You did a fantastic job. I loved that you did a side-by-side layout (how did you do that by the way?!) of one side telling the story and the other side being commentary straight from Cedie! it was a creative and ingenious structure that made the story engaging and really fun to read!
Hi Emily! I’ve said this before but you do a great job in writing Cedie’s actions and thoughts in a believable way! You can definitely tell she’s a dog. It was also great how you were able to make “Ollie the Cat” based on real-life events. In the beginning I wondered why Ollie was ignoring Cedie, but once I read his point of view I understood. I liked how you decided to show Cedie and Ollie’s perspectives because they are very different. It’s a nice contrast.
ReplyDeleteI did notice that there were a few sentences in this story that might be run-ons. In the “Immediately I wanted to be his friend…” sentence you might want to separate it into more than one sentence. Also in the sentence that starts with “Then, I didn’t see him…” maybe you could drop the first comma because it feels unneeded.
Other than that everything looks great!
Hi Emily! I picked your story book for my third option this week because I remember reading your introduction and first story and wanted to see what was new.
ReplyDeleteMe and the Wolf was a great story to retell for Cedie's perspective. I like the first person narrative and I like how you have Cedie get side tracked telling the story and then have her jump right back in. It definitely adds to the idea that a dog is telling the story. I also thought you did a good job flipping the story. I've read the original and it's cool to see it told from the house dog's perspective instead of the wolf's. To each their own right? I also thought it was nice that you included the original story in your author's note so that people could easily read where your inspiration came from.
I enjoyed reading Ollie the Cat as well. I like how you took inspiration from the original story, but made it completely your own. I thought it was cute how Cedie referred to their relationship as "star-crossed friends," that made me giggle. I feel like you did a good job capturing cats and dogs relationships. It always seem the dog wants to be friends and the cat does not. It was a very cute story. Good job, can't wait to read more!
Hey Emily! The storybook is really coming along nicely. I like how you told the story about Ollie and Cedie from the first time that they met to what I assume is the "current". It was pretty cool how you decided to give us an excerpt from Ollie's journal as well. The only thing I could think to suggest for you is that you clear up the beginning of their relationship a bit. I had to read it a second time because it confused me a little. Other than that, great story!
ReplyDeleteHi Emily,
ReplyDeleteI really found your story fantastic. The idea of writing your story this way is very original but it also makes it much more fun. I think this is the first time in the class I encounter someone who talks in the first person, I must admit that it really makes me feel that I am a character in the story. I found it very nice that you included the original story in the author’s note, it made me realize how well you changed the story in your version making us see it from the dog’s perspective. The story of Ollie the cat was so cute, I really love it since I just got a puppy and anything that involves cute animals is now a passion for me. Thank you for you sharing, I look forward to your future stories.
Hey Emily! I also am using my pet, Oliver, to be the main character in my storybook. I also decided to write in first person just so the perspective would be a bit different and so that everyone can read Oliver's personality and enjoy it as much as I do. I really like how you have built your story and how well it flows. I had a great time reading your story and getting to know Cedie's. I am excited to continue reading more of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Emily! This is really cool! I am using my pet as well, and I have seen a few other people do this too! Obviously pets are a really fun thing to use in stories- I think it makes it easier to come up with stories with my cat because I already know how to fit her personality into it. I really enjoyed reading your stories and can't wait to read more about your sweet dog!
ReplyDeleteHey Emily, I absolutely love your storybook! This is the first storybook I've read that's used an actual pet as the main character. What a fun idea! It's clear that you love Cedie a lot, and I think that makes the stories way more fun to read. It's always better to write about something you're passionate about. And she is just SO CUTE!! You did an awesome job of setting up yours and Cedie's background in your introduction. It was nice to get to know a bit about her day to day life and how long y'all have been together. I also love how you give Cedie a personality in her commentary on the stories. She seems like such a sweet pup—so open to new experiences and excited about the world. I'm really impressed with how well you nailed a dog's persona. I thought your stories were all a lot of fun and easy to read. I'm excited to see more of what you add here.
ReplyDeleteI love getting to read all of Cedie's adventures! I thought you did a great job of finding a way to adapt the fable to fit your storybook. I also really like that you added the original at the end. It makes it easier to see where your inspiration came from without having to go out of the way to find it. I thought it was super cute that she was trying to help because she wanted to share the food so badly. I can totally see this being the motivation for a dog hanging around the kitchen on any given day, especially a holiday. You do a great job of staying in character throughout the story and also giving a good perspective of a dog's thought process. You have a great starting point in your story and you end strong too with the "update." Overall I really enjoyed your latest addition and can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteHi Emily!
ReplyDeleteSo I read your first story earlier this semester and absolutely loved it! Your stories are so cute. I especially love the Thanksgiving one. I know my dogs are definitely thinking they are helping when they are definitely ruining things. The same goes for Christmas! When we get the decorations out, the dogs go nuts and eat half of the things.
I really love your writing! Since it is from Cedie’s perspective, everything is so light hearted. You have the most creative storybook/project in our class (by far)! I love reading it. It is a nice change of pace from all of the other stories. This story added to the overall storybook so well. I can’t believe it’s over! Great job!!